I live with my mom but I have an older brother and today I really wish I was a single child. He’s selfish. My mom is a month behind on rent because she payed for his tuition instead if rent. We’re in a tight spot right now but he doesn’t care. He went into my moms room and yelled at her for not being able to give him money for the things he needs. We’re broke. If I could work I would but I think my educations more important than a couple hundred dollars a month. If I start working my grades will drop. Im in honor and AP classes I. Don’t. Have. Time.
But he doesn’t care. He scream at me for not being able to provide for myself. I’m 16 I shouldn’t be worrying about this. I shouldn’t have to see my mom cry. This shouldn’t be happening. Why are you even here. You treat the people around you like shit. You’re a sad excuse for a human. And an even sadder excuse for the man and just because we’re related does not mean I can’t hate you. I hate you. I’ve hated you since we were kids. You treat me like shit and you treat mom like shit but I should have expected that.
You’re just like dad.
And you treated him like shit even though you knew it was the last time you would see him. He may have been a shitty person but you had no fucking right to do that. You knew we would never see him again. You knew. And you still did it. I hate you.
You come here. To our small apartment. To my only place in the world and you ruin everything. Get out.
Mom doesn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve this.
I don’t know who you think you are but you’re nothing special.
Yelling at her because your home works not done. What the fuck. You have a job go buy your materials and do your fucking homework you’re 18. It’s time for you to grow up and move on cuz mommy doesn’t have time for your shit. She works morning and night.
Fuck you. You don’t deserve A mom like her. You don’t deserve any of the things you have. You’re a worthless excuse for a man and if there’s a hell, trust me, you’d be there.
And even if these were my last words to you I wouldn’t regret them
I’m an atheist in a catholic family. But they don’t force their beliefs on me anymore so I’m good. I’m happy that I spent the last couple days in my room it was fun ^.^ I would have posted stuff earlier but I was watching a anime and I don’t know I just… Forgot? Well yeah I watched a anime and read a manga and started 2 new amines which I’m no where neat finishing 😛 this is it. This is paradise. It’s been a while since I felt this comfortable everything’s just… Awesome
Well as always thanks for following me *smiley face*
I hate it when people call each other attention whores. If you want compliment I’ll give them to you. If you need to feel beautiful I’ll remind you that you are. I don’t know what you’re going through and I don’t know why. And even if you’re posting nudes ill probably be very uncomfortable but ill still say you look great because you do.
Oh another topic why is it that girls are the only ones that are criticized for showing their bodies. Men shouldn’t do it either I do t want to see anyone’s body. Guys don’t ever take your shirts off in front if me because I honestly think that’s uncivilized and exposing. I wear my clothes because they’re comfortable and because I’m saving it for someone worth it. My body is not for everybody. If yours is I don’t care because that’s your body. Not mine. Do what ever the fuck you want. Just don’t bother me when I do whatever I want to do
YES SWEET TITS I DON’T HAVE TO TOUCH NATURAL SUNLIGHT OR SEE ANY ONE FOR THE NEXT 3 FUCKIN WEEKS. OH MY GLOB. ^.^
I wonder how I get any likes. Am I interesting? The only thing I post on here is me complaining. It can’t be that interesting….or is it?
So yeah my friends still here. He left and came back. I was so relieved when he left then all of a sudden he came back and said his ride left. WHYYYY I was so happy. I did not want you to come back I’m finally in winter break. Wtf can you just go. >.< It's weird that he's right in front of me and I'm just here. Typing about him. Leave. Just go.
My friends at my place and I’m seriously just…. Ugh get out. I don’t want to socialize I want to sit on my bed and watch anime and i don’t know be alone. Why the fuck are you even here you’re just on my fucking laptop on your fucking Facebook. I’ve been ignoring you for a reason get out. OUT. I’m not in the fucking mood right now so just leave I don’t even like you that much you’re immature and you copy everything I do. You’re one of the most annoying and fake people I know. And you’re hitting on me. I already have a boyfriend ( I still need to talk to him about breaking up). I’m okay alone I love being alone don’t feel bad because I’m alone just go. My bubble is my bubble my house is my safe zone and I don’t want pricks like you in it. only a select few can come and only when I feel like it and that may seem a little fucked up but you need to understand that I don’t like socializing with anyone ( except Alondra) and I have a limit to how much shit I can put up with before I just go lock myself in my room and ignore everything and I am so close to telling you to GTFO. oh my fucking god can I just be left alone.
I forgot to welcome my new follower. WELCOME. as you can see I’m a little anti social. But I appreciate all my followers. I may be anti social but I blog to release stress and idk rant about stupid stuff
So I’m at my bet friends house and boyfriend came with me. Idk why I mean I didn’t invite him he was just there. And he didn’t do anything he literally sat on the couch on his phone the entire time he didn’t try talking to me or anything fuck this. Fuck you and your fucking attitude I’m done. I’ve been done I really don’t want to talk to you or even see you right now. And you just got up and fucking left as soon as I get a call saying our friends want to hangout. Fuckk. I really. I just. I don’t want this. I want to not care I want to be okay.because right now I’m not okay. I literally am trying my best to gather up the courage to break up with you. I don’t want a relationship. I don’t want a boyfriend I just want to hangout with my best fried all the time and eat ice cream and enjoy the little things but I can’t do that with you a ting like a dick I can’t stand this. Ugghhh. I can’t stand you
My best friends my main bitch like she can be mean but she’s cool and I’ve known her since like 7th grade. Her names alondra. I uses to be best friends with this guy named George but I don’t really like his company more. He is just so immature and I can’t handle him like no matter what I do he’s just….. Annoying
I don’t know if that’s a good word to use but yeah I still talk to him but I don’t want to be around him a lot
Well yeah I’m tired hungry and bored. Fuck you alondra. Stop telling me to go places without Internet
Well yeah blog ya later
People know who I am. How am I suppose to spill my guts to a bunch of people that will probably just use it against me. Blogging is awesome I can say whatever the fuck I want. I hope no one that i know ever finds this blog. It’s special. It’s the one place where you won’t know that I’m not happy. I’m not going to burden you with my problems anymore. So just stop asking because I have a blog and I probably wouldn’t tell you anyway. You don’t need to know
I just realized Because I was lonely I’m going out with a guy I don’t even like. But I keep telling myself that I do. But how could I know now that I don’t. When I’m with him there’s always that thought in the back of my mind. I want to go home
I really like being alone. And the loneliness is always there even when I’m with others. I thought if I got a boyfriend I wouldn’t feel lonely anymore. But I do. There’s no difference between me being with a group of people and me being with him. He’s not the one. But I’ve grown attached to him. I’ve started to get used to him holding my hand. But I don’t want to be attached to him I want the real deal. I want butter flies in my tommy and flowers growing in this barren heart. But of course anything good is worth waiting for. I just got impatient. But I don’t have the balls that I need in order to break up. And a piece if me hopes that when we get back from winter break he will have forgotten all about me and we just go back to being friends. Because I don’t want these feelings that only push me further into darkness I don’t like knowing that I’m with somebody that I don’t want to be with.
I don’t like this. I’d rather be alone with my loneliness than be with someone and still feel lonely. Because when I’m alone there’s that glimmer of light that tells me that there’s still hope. That if I look hard enough you’ll pop up out of nowhere and finally be mine
But right now I just feel helpless. I’m with someone but why is the loneliness still here ? I thought It goes away as soon as someone was by my side?
Or was that a lie too